Year end.

Last day of 2012. I know that some of you keep up with me by visiting this space. I want to let you know that my Dad is getting very near death. No way to know whether it is hours or days but it will not be very much longer.
He was able to say "I love you" to my mother one more time this morning. A very sweet local priest visited and Dad was able to recite some of the Lord's prayer with him. At least four of my siblings are keeping watch with Mom. I pray for rest and peace.

Brrrr.

The weather channel says 10% chance of precipitation. It is sleeting right now. So much for forecasts.

The holidays have melded back into a regular feel. Decorations haven't come down, yet. I am not ready. Yesterday I got to go over and spend the day with Daughter and the Super Carrot. Daughter is still settling into her new abode. It is coming along. I have to say the house is WAY better with the new paint job. There are great spaces in the new place.

Mr. Macho has spent much of his time off painting the new shop. He is almost ready to move stuff into it. I have projects lined up for when he is up and operating.

Made it to the gym this morning. Much needed exercise. I also got the wood floors mopped with Murphy's Oil soap. That makes me feel better. I might even windex and few doors today that are still sporting hand and mouth prints from last weekend. Sometimes it is just to precious to wipe away.

 I talked to Mom and Dad briefly this morning. It has been a not good week for Dad, and today was not good either. The substitute Hopsice nurse thinks he has contracted a cold and wants him to take breathing treatments. He isn't getting out of bed. Even to use the bathroom. His appetite is non-existent. Mom had to send a sick care giver home today and sisters, Marsha and Mimi, had to cover until another sitter could get there. Mom was concerned with wiping all surfaces with clorox wipes.

White beans are on the menu for tonight. Sweet Pea and her parents are coming over to share the meal. I have a confession to make. I have thrown away more sweets today. We just won't eat them. There are still plenty of sweet things to eat in the house. Sweet Daughter-in-law from out of town made red velvet cream cheese brownies and brought them up last weekend. They are dangerous. If you happen upon a batch turn quickly and run. Or else you will want to eat them all yourownself. They are perfect. Not too sweet. Oh man. So, yes. They are still here. The chocolate peanut butter balls? Still here. Mr. Macho ate the last piece of caramel cake after lunch today. Our friend, Kathryn, makes the best caramel cake.

This week Mr. Macho's nephew proposed to his girlfriend and she accepted. We have a wedding to look forward to in the new year. A special niece is expecting her first child in the middle of the new year. Another reason to look forward. Only a few more days left of this old year. Nostalgia will be played and replayed on the teevee. "Old Lang Syne" and all that. We will kiss goodbye to this year among friends on Monday evening. 2013 is ripe with promise. Here's hoping!

The eve.

Backwards turn backwards Oh time in your flight.

Make me a child again Just for tonight.

-Elizabeth Akers Allen

Merry Christmas to all and to all a

Good night!

Silent night.

The weekend was terrific. Friday Mr. Macho and I worked around the house. Tweaking to get things ready for the family gathering slated for Saturday.

Friday evening brought the members trickling in. Welcome. Welcome. Cue the Whoville song. Fah Who Foraze... 

We gathered on Saturday. We ate. We laughed. We ate. We took family photos. We exchanged gifts. We ate some more. The day was sweet. Complimented by an entire day of sunshine. A gift. 

It is quiet now. All is calm. All is bright. Well. Not so bright. Nasty weather is on the way and may postpone further family gatherings. It will not deter the Christmas spirit that is settling in my heart. Peace on earth. Good will toward men. 

Step softly.

I write with a heart that is still damaged. Daughter posted a link on facebook that provides a way to move forward with healing.   http://thisishappilyeverafter.blogspot.com/2012/12/moving-on.html
I have chosen a victim to include in my daily prayers. It helps. It is what I can do from this distance. Her name and birth date are taped to my computer.
And I step softly back into my life. Keeping the wound bound with prayer.

***
My house is as decorated as it will get this year. Our children, grandchildren, and Mr. Macho's side of the family will gather at our house this weekend. To celebrate Christmas. There will be fun, food, photos. There will be full bellies and full hearts. Gifts will be given. Love will be received. Familiar family lore will be retold, I'm sure.

***
Dancing update. Mr. Macho and I continue with our social dancing class. We are very slowly improving. This month has been a much needed review of the fox trot and the nightclub two step. Last night really felt like progress was being made. Our fox trot finally felt smooth. I liked it.

We are planning to join some of our dance friends at a New Year's Eve party. For dancing. I need a sparkly top. To go with black pants. I'll let you know what I find. Peace.

A quiet post.

Read this silently or in a whisper.
I heard the news. I did not know how horrible it was until I was in the middle of a store and got a text from Son in Town. Quickly Googled and saw the numbers of the tragedy. I had to get out of the store. Quick.
Then I moaned. All the way home. Out loud.
Talked to Daughter. We cried. She raged. I moaned. Some more.
Oh Dear Jesus. How do we deal with this?
Oh parents of children no longer living. Dads stayed at the fire station. Exhausted Moms went home.
We can not possibly know the depth of your grief. Please let us hold you up in our prayers. Know that we do. There is a new deep wound in my heart. I still yearn to moan.
God please come and fill our hearts with your healing balm. Help us figure out how to forgive in this meanest of hours.

***
Below is a copy of Max Lucado's Christmas prayer.

Dear Jesus,

It's a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.

These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod's jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won't you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,
Your Children

12-12-12

Just had to post today because of the date!! Won't happen again for like a hundred years. Or something like that.
Anyhoo...Mr. Macho and I attended a performance of the Messiah last night. It was awesome. The solo singers were professional, as were the musicians. The chorus choir was comprised of locals. I feel sure there were over a hundred in the chorus. They raised the roof. The Hallelujah chorus was phenomenal. Our church was full to capacity at the 6:00 performance. It was very festive feeling and I am beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. Every where I go.
After our "culture" experience Mr. Macho treated me to dinner at Umi's. Mmmm. The Shaggy Dog Roll was delish. Mr. Macho was comfortable with a hibachi dinner. He loves the fried rice. I love the flavors of the soy sauce combined with the wasabi and ginger. Yum.
My last three hat orders were delivered yesterday. There are some leftover and I actually wrapped two to give as gifts. I closed in on completing my gift shopping yesterday. A few more items to flesh out my list and I will be sitting pretty. I haven't had to buy gift wrap nor bows this year. Because of left overs from last year.
I am hoping for some sunshine today so I can make some pralines. There are also some floors to clean and dust to chase away. I will be busy.

Santa Claus is coming to town. And. I know him.

Busy fingers...

Now that I am comfortably past the birthday non-event I can breath and type again. That is all I'm saying about that.

This week I have spent trying to put my little old decorations in the the old and new spaces in the house. I am making myself not go out and buy and spend just because. I hope to hit some after Christmas sales and look forward to next year being even prettier than this year. One thing I am considering is another tree. The one I have is only a few years old but already has lights out and a broken branch. It is one of those pre-lit things. Next year it might be fun to try a smaller real tree. I have an entire year to think about it and come up with a plan. For now I will be satisfied with what I've got. With small additions.

I sold some of my crochet hats. For cheap. And have orders for three more. This weekend I will make four or five hats so my customers will have choices. Mr. Macho will be working tomorrow, more than likely and my fingers will be working the yarn.

Uncle Jay is getting the shop finished. He promised it will be done before Christmas. Looks like that is going to happen. Don't know if Mr. Macho will have time to move into it before Christmas. He is working extra trying to make time so he can take off some of the time off that he has left. I am afeared he will just loose some of his vacay.

I am having a bit of a wine emergency. As in - there is none in the house. Must make it to the store soon. We settled for dirty martinis last night. Ah well, we do what we have to do.

Got to run get the crocheting under way.

Why am I sitting here?

I have loads and loads of to-do's today. Started early with roofers fixing a leak. Uncle Jay and his trusty sidekick have already been by and cleaned up the work shop detritus. Sheets off two beds and in the washer. Work out finished. Thank you notes written.
More cleaning and organizing on the agenda today.
Tonight I will commemorate my last first date. With the rest of Mimi's seafood gumbo that she sent up for Mr. Macho. I can not waste it. Not one drop. It is soooo good.
Yesterday the Christmas spirit tip toed a little further into our house.
More clothes to wash, floors to scrub, dust to chase, decorating to do.
Got to go pay the bills.

I'm back.

Drove down to visit Mom and Dad last Thursday. It is a different kind of visit now. I felt like I could spend a just few hours at a time being with Dad. He is in bed all the time. He eats in bed. He gets bathed in the bed. He still gets up for bathroom duties which are taken care of right next to his bed. He sleeps most of the time. He is fading. Slowly.
This trip was for me, really. I wanted to be with Dad one more time while he is still my Dad. We talked little. I made him laugh a few times. I held his hand.
Mom is tired. But okay.

I actually stayed with Mimi. I enjoyed spending time with her. We ate out a couple of times but my favorite was eating her gumbo and the fabulous meal she prepared for me and Pete, Kaye, and Marsha. Saturday night we ate steaks, twice baked potato casserole, fresh green beans, a yummy salad with some home made delicious dressing, and Kaye's brownies with whipped cream. Yes, this was not on my diet. But what the heck?

Mimi and I enjoyed a little shopping on Saturday after we visited with Mom and Dad for a few hours. Pass Christian and Bay St. Louis have some fun little shops and restaurants. Good Karma going on in both places.

We are into December. Already. Just a little historical footnote. On this day 36 years ago a certain bearded young Mr. Macho asked me on a date. It was fate, that's what is was Edward. (Pretty Woman reference.) Our first date was December 4, 1976. I was a mere child. Wednesday I will celebrate the 36th anniversary of my 20th birthday. Geez.

My random acts of kindness is already being challenged. I have felt more like Scrooge than Mother Theresa the last few days. Today I will endeavor to get my groove back. Seeya.