Tuesday art.

Block prints. That is what today's art lesson involved. I am a huge fan of the block print. Today I chose to do simple carvings. Let me see if I can download from my phone camera....

I am amassing a small collection of blocks. It is a very satisfying art form. I like the ladies in my class. Today one of them brought a block that her mother had carved. It was quite intricate and we all ooohed and ahhed over it. 

The Starry Night paintings we all did are on display at the YMCA. Some are very nice. I think I may frame mine and hang it somewhere in the new addition that we are planning. Maybe. 

We only have 3 more art classes this spring. 

Speaking of spring. So many little things are blooming. Already. I even see some little bright green leaves on the flowering pear trees. It is all happening so fast. 

I hope you celebrate February 29th tomorrow. We won't see it again for 4 years. What to do? Hmm. I'll let  you know if any celebrating goes on here. I sure hope it does. 

Rainy days and Mondays...

I am just back from the big "Sistah Weekend". It was much fun. The weather didn't cooperate. It was cloudy and windy and chilly the entire weekend.
There was still some tension and some heavy hearts concerned with Dad's failing heart and body. And yet we found the connection that let us cry and argue, laugh and love. Thursday night the mermaids dipped their toes in the waters. Friday morning we toasted each other with champaign and raspberry liqueur. Then we made a quick trip into Pensacola and Joe Patti's Seafood Emporium. It is a shopping experience. A must if you are in the area.
We had three condos and each condo took a turn preparing and serving the night meal.
Thursday and Friday nights we watched movies - Mama Mia (- we sang and danced) and we watched Bridesmaid and hooted!
Aunt P* brought a game. I think the name of it was "Things". We played it and laughed our rear ends off! Really. There are nine rear ends hanging out at Perdido Beach that used to belong to us. We played Mexican Train dominoes, too. Several times.
We supported the local economy and bought a few lottery tickets. Yes we won. $15.
We spent a happy few hours laughing with and at the people at the Florabama. We laughed at ourselves most of all. We thought it was hilarious that the hostess encouraged us to come back Saturday night because there was going to be a good comedian. Only she said it was 'adult humor' and we knew Aunt Amanda couldn't abide that. But what was even funnier was that there were going to be farm animals and midgets in the show. That was crazy funny to us. We should have gone back. Missed opportunity.
I promised not to post any risque snaps. I think these few are safe -

A morning toast to the Sistah weekend. 

One for the road...to Joe Patti's.

Way deep down south we play this game.....we call it Mexican Train! 

First timers at the Florabama. 

Self portrait at the Florabama. 

Fiesta night. 

I am home. I was able to see Dad on the way to and from on my trip. No real change. Maybe slightly more pale. The saga of the caregivers is going to be a constant, I'm afraid. We had one in place that Mom and everyone was so pleased with. She was a good worker and had a good happy spirit about her. Then she didn't show up on the day we were to leave for Florida. There was some confusion but then one of the other workers filled in. The one we liked is off the job. I am afraid that there will be many turnovers in personnel. That will only add to Mom's confusion and intrude even further into Dad's privacy. He has always been such a private person. 

There are clothes in the washing machine. I am thawing out some supper. Mr. Macho will be home in a little more than an hour. And here we are in the Lenten season. The season of the desert. A time for reflection and refocusing...I will have a hard time trading beach sands for desert sands. 

Won't you be my neighbor?

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The sun has been my friend today. It made my head lighter.
Saturday was dreary, as predicted. I did get the promised dish rags going. Mr. Macho and I had a nice dinner out. We made a quick trip to the store and picked up the movie "The Book of Eli". We had watched it before but wanted to watch it again. It was inexpensive. It was just as interesting the second time around. I dreamed about it that night.
Yesterday Daughter and her chickies came over for a visit. Son in town and his family came over, too. We were almost at capacity. It was fun. I loved that granddaughter, Lauren (8), thought to call and let me know they were home safe. And to talk.
While I was waiting on my oil to be changed this morning at the car place I worked on the mulit-colored ripple afghan that I started several weeks ago. It reignited my crochet fire. Now I am working on a purple baby hat, too. And I finished several dish rags. And cut out a skirt pattern. After I went grocery shopping.
I finally bit the bullet and ordered some dance shoes for us. Mr. Macho keeps threatening to quit. Then the cute teacher asks if we will be here next month and he says yes. So. Now we will have shoes. After lasts week's lesson my feet were in pain. Three hours of standing didn't do them any favors. Tonight I will find time to sit in between dances. And stretch some more. And wait for my new shoes. That will make my feet feel better. I just know they will.
My spare bedrooms are taking on the sewing explosion look, again. I will have to clean that up before I go on my sister weekend. But the house won't get cleaned. Until I get back.
Tomorrow is Mardi Gras. Wednesday begins the Lenten season. For years I have given up sweets. I will do that again. All sweets. I also try to focus on some proactive behavior that I can improve upon during Lent. I don't know, yet, quite what it will be. Not sure I will even tell you when I do decide. I have to ponder on it. I'll get back to you.
Anyway, here are the dish rags I crocheted....

I wish you a Happy Mardi Gras. Le bon temps roule!

Ahhh, Saturday morning.

I am mostly recovered. I did get all those things done yesterday that I talked about. Tummy was still slightly in revolt, but I kept food down. And finally - up. Whatever. I have turned the corner and am totally on the mend today.
Rain is in the forecast for today. Mr. Macho is 'on call' and so, there will be no foreign adventures. We stick pretty close to the nest when he is on the call. I think I will attempt a slow measured workout at the Y this morning. I have had no good stream of workouts in over two weeks. I need to get back to it. Even if it is slow. Workouts = good endorphins = good sleep. That is my very own personal formula.
Before we ever got out of bed Macho asked me on a date for tonight. And I said, "as long as it wasn't Chinese or Mexican. They might mess up my stomach."
Tomorrow Daughter and her chilluns will come for a visit. I am excited about that!
I need to get back to some crocheting, too. I promised Mimi that I would make her some dish rags. Got to get to it. Today.
Alright. I'm on it.

Up and at 'em.

I caught the stomach bug. I didn't intend to, it just happened. My art teacher was recovering Tuesday morning...Wednesday night at exactly 9:30 the bug found me. I could write some really gross stuff right here. Suffice it to say - it was all that and more. The bug, that is. During the night - after an "episode" I literally fell to the floor. It wasn't that I passed out, I was just so week from all the yuk that I just dropped down when I was on my way back to the bed from the bathroom. I just laid there for a few minutes until I had the energy to get back up and into the bed.
I spent all day long on the sofa yesterday. No lights. No sleep. No food. No fun.
Today I have "residuals". I am well enough to talk on skype. Well enough to do some laundry. In a little while I am going to shower and get my paintings to the frame shop. And come right back home for fear of relapse. Food still seems pretty yucky to me right now.

Dad news: The medical supply company has changed Dad's mattress twice this week. We hope this second time will be one that is more comfortable for him. Ava, the daytime care giver, is working out wonderfully well. Her friend, Marie, is the weekly night time care giver - and is also pretty terrific. Resha is the night time weekend care giver. We all like her. She stays in the room with Dad...even sleeping on the floor. One more person will be added to the entourage. A weekend day time person. We will find out who that is tomorrow. I hope she is a good fit for Dad, too.
There is really no change in Dad. A nurse's aide comes three times a week to bathe Dad and change his sheets. A nurse will come once a week and assess Dad.
Next weekend is the sister weekend. I am having a hard time gearing up for it. Not really in a party mood.
And the beat goes on.

Paintings for Dad.

I call myself a 'remedial student of art'. I love drawing and painting and making block prints....and on and on. I have painted a couple of things that I will take to the frame shop tomorrow. Hopefully I can get them down to hang in Dad's bedroom next week. I hope he will find them cheery and comforting. It is a small thing I can do. 

Bloom Trailer

Sweet P ate supper with us for Valentine's Day. She fed herself most of her meal. She would not even relinquish her little plastic fork for me to put more food on it. She held the fork and fed herself with her free hand. I gave her the crochet bunny I made for her. She would not stand still long enough for me to snap a picture. When I gave her a bath she fell and bumped her lip. OOhh I felt so bad. It didn't bleed but it swelled and there was a little piece of skin that stuck out. The rest of the night she kept feeling her lip with her tongue. The vanilla wafers helped sooth her hurt feelings.
Am getting daily Dad updates from Lynn, another sister. Biggest issues right now is getting caregivers that really are helpful. The goal is to have 4 regular people per week to care for him.
Am working on another flower painting for Dad's room. The sunflower I painted on Monday was practice, even though I will frame and send it - I am much happier with the zinnia that I am currently painting.
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I really love Kelle Hampton's blog and can hardly wait to read her book. Check it out...

Daily grind.

And its Monday. Again. Am trying very hard to come out from under the sadness. We can not know the day or the hour. I will try to look at every day as a gift. I really will. How can I be thankful for what is happening to Dad right now?  Yet. I know this is what I must do. For today - I am thankful that his needs are being met.
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Yesterday we visited with Daughter and family. We all played a fun game of Clue. First time Mr. Macho and I ever played that game. Of course I would think it fun - my team won both rounds! I gave out Valentine gifts. It made me very happy that Lauren and Tucker liked their presents. Besides a crocheted hat, I gave Lauren the bear I had crocheted (she has been asking for it for weeks!) Tucker played with the bean bags I had sewed and wore his hat out to play a couple of times. Merritt liked her presents, too.

Merritt with her Super Carrot hat. It will fit her next year, too. (Note the Dr. Evil pose. "I would not sell this hat for one mill-i-on dollars!)

Tucker liked his aviator hat! 

Lauren played with her bear most of the afternoon. She dressed her in baby cloths and strolled her around. Then Lauren and Tucker strolled each other around. They played really well together yesterday.

This is me getting some much needed baby love. 

This was just too cute not to post. 

Another week begins. Last week I only had one workout at the YMCA. I must get back to it this morning. I hope to make a big batch of pimento cheese today. Maybe I'll take some to our dance class tonight. They all seemed to like the snacks I provided last week (left over Super Bowl fare). Much to do around the house since I wasn't here most of last week. 

And here I go. 

Home.

If home is where the heart is then mine is 250 miles away on a hospital bed. A measure of peace has come to me after spending 2 nights and 2.5 days with Dad and Mom. Being there has not lifted the sadness that is deep in my bones. However, seeing Dad was balm to my heavy heart.

Some very lovely ladies are taking round the clock care of him now. Hospice is all that and more.
Mimi.
How can I say enough about my sister? I got a small glimpse of her life while visiting. I washed Dad's face Wednesday night with a warm cloth. I could tell by his body language that it felt good. This is what I learned - that Mimi's life is an oxymoron right now - she lives with sweet sorrow, painful joy. This is the gift that she receives and gives. 

The rest of us siblings come and go. We help as we can. Mimi is the constant. She oversees business decisions. When she is at their home she oversees Dad's physical needs. She soothes him with her touch -hand on his forehead, rubbing his back...and orchestrates his comfort. She feeds him. She loves him. The rest of us come and go. We do what we can. 

Being away is the hardest for me. Not knowing what is happening minute by minute. Amanda declared that being there and giving care was an addiction. I understood what she meant but I don't think addiction is the right word. It is more like a need to constantly be helping. It makes us feel better to be doing something. Like in some way we can make his road just a fraction smoother, if we just do the next thing and the next. 

Mr. Macho and I are traveling to see some of the grandchildren today for a good dose of happiness and baby sugars. Just what the doctor ordered.

The Trip.

My Dad is going home by ambulance today. He is weak and doesn't feel good.
His fluid levels rose after his lasix IV was stopped. Oral lasix dosages will have to be increased to keep the fluid out of him so he can breath.
Hospice has delivered all the equipment he will need. Hospital bed, wheel chair, shower chair, potty chair, and oxygen bottle. They will check on him every day. At first. Someone will be at his home 24 hours a day to make sure he is comfortable.
I will drive down tomorrow. I will not spend my life wishing. The drive there will not be easy. The drive home will be unbearable.

Super Sunday.

Have had a busy weekend. We made a quick trip out of town yesterday. It rained hard on us most of the day. Last night we danced to the sound of big band music along with some of our new dance friends. Mr. Macho is really catching on and got pretty brave doing the fox trot and the rumba.

Looks like Dad might get out of the hospital tomorrow. His cardiologist went on vacation Thursday and the partner has caused a bit of a ruckus. He has suggested some procedures that Dad would have a hard time standing up to. At 91 I don't really think a pace maker is the answer.

We cheered on our team in the Super Bowl this afternoon. Sweet Pea and her parents were here for the party.

2012

We have this same pose from her first Super Bowl last year... 

It looks like I went to a little more effort on the decorations last year. Oh well.

2011

Wish I had put a table cloth on now that I look at it. We had veggies and ranch dip, fruit and fruit dip, chicken wings, pickled okra, Doritoes, humus and pita chips....

Buffalo chicken dip with pretzel flip crackers and strawberry pie. 

Those veggies were so pretty. Love the sweet peppers. 

This week should prove interesting and busy. I'm down for the count. 

Morning run.

Dad. Probably in late 1930's or early 1940's. 

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Today I run.
I breath.
My heart beats.
Tunes in my ears all turn into sad songs.
Finally.
I cry.
I heave.
I run.
I lift in prayer what I can not verbalize.
I plan my pilgrimage.
I run.

And so...

Dad will stay in the hospital a few more days. The staff will get his new meds regulated before they release him. Dr. B agreed last night that it is time for hospice and will write the orders. Today the Sisters have already hired a service.
My brother doctor has given more information about Dad's aging heart. Dad has some chronic lung scarring (fibrosis) underlying the larger problem of aortic valve stenosis (tightening/narrowing). It was brought on by atrial fibrillation/ flutter which caused Dad to decompensate and go into heart failure. The hope is that the new meds will chemically convert him back into a regular heart rhythm. Sounds positive, right? Yea. I thought so, too.

Sisters are rotating shifts being with him and taking care of Mom. They are my heroes this week. I know they are taking loving care of our parents. Just wish I could be there to help relieve the rotation.
A collective sigh of relief from all sibs over the hiring of the hospice service. The issue has been discussed amongst the ranks. It was hinted at and tiptoed around in front of Mom and Dad. And now the doctor has written the order. It is good.  Responsibility for Dad's care will now shift to someone other than Mom.
And at the same time this all feels heavy.
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Today I started sewing some bloomers for Merritt (who is over 4 months old now). I was really doing great until I realized that I sewed them wrong...had two right sides. Now I have to go rip out the seams and do better tomorrow. It is fixable. I also bought some fabric to make some more of the cute little summer top. And coordinating fabric for the bloomers. Only I forgot to buy the lining fabric. Another trip to the store. Ah well.
Putting the broccoli in the oven now. Roasting it for supper. Along with some baked tilapia. Hope the night is peaceful...weather radio has sounded off a couple of times.
For now. The beat goes on.