At least this week I have been. My fantasy isn't very grand, though. I have been secretly dreaming that Mr. Macho had already bought my Christmas present. Today I even dreamed that he was making that compost bin I have been wanting and printing off the internet. Until. He asked. While sitting comfortably on the back porch. "I'm going to do my Christmas shopping tomorrow. What do you want? Or have you already bought your own Christmas present?" It is the last possible day he can shop. And here is my dilemma, I end up looking like the bad guy and feeling guilty. He backs me into this emotional corner and I am expected to come out all sweet and rosy. I reacted with a laugh. And a, "So you've waited until the 11th hour?" - Smart ass remark. Then he got all quiet and moody and said he just asked and didn't want a lecture.
I do over analyze these emotional stand offs.
I wonder. Next year if I hand him a very long list of unique gift suggestions when he asks, what would he do? That perks me up a little just thinking about it. Yep. I am feeling very Walter Mitty today.
I have spent my afternoon trying to regain that good holiday buzz that I had going up until the porch confrontation. I am almost back.
But. I do need a little Christmas. Right this very minute.
No comments:
Post a Comment